Happy Anniversary my sweet.

I was waiting for my best man Joe Mollo to come pick me up from our apartment. Slicked my hair in a pony tail, put on my $100 rented tux that your father had to bail me out with the cost since i was broke. smh

it was raining cows and horses that day. i was already getting nervous for you. you worked so hard on getting our wedding in order. i couldn’t believe it. i hoped that it would be a dry day for you.

sure enough, you showed up dry as a whistle. you managed to dodge the buckets of water pouring down on the makeshift plastic tarp you told me you covered yourself with.

the day went faster than we expected. before we knew it, we were in our room recalling our day. the guests. the ballroom. the family drama. the honeymoon trip the next morning. the plan. the hope. and how we hope it would end. yeah. how we imagined how our end would end.

i should digitize our wedding video. it used to make you laugh at my fuckups during our vowels. the things i was saying beneath my breath and only you could hear. i made you snort a few times. success

i miss you babe. i miss the shit out of you.

don’t ask me about our kids. i had enough. i’ll leave it at that.

commissioned a local artist i’m a big fan of his work to paint you a couple of years back. i sent him my favorite picture of you and he made this.

i was nervous when he dropped it off, i didn’t know what to expect. the first time i saw it, i teared up. i saw your face as i saw your bones. it gave me chills and smiles. it was fucking brilliant.

it now hangs over the fireplace in the pool room. remember the pool room? you questioned having a pool table in the front room. “who does that? who wants to see a pool table when they first walk in to the house?” bla bla bla

what else is going on… i would tell you more but you may kill me. you would rise up, clean up, call one of your friends to pick you up, arrive at our house and pull up, then you would walk up, wake me up, put a knife up, tell me to shut the fuck up, then continue to slice me up, then you’d clean up, get picked up, stop at kop mall for a quick outfit change before you go back and rest up. did i get that right? can it wait until i see you in person? i mean if you don’t kill me, Priscilla will. lmfao

you know when people say the guy lost his mind after he lost his wife? that’s my excuse.

i love you babe. crazy for you. i’m also crazy for Priscilla. and if there’s an after life where the 3 of us are in the same room… ummm… that could be an issue. 3 aries in the same vicinity each with their own opinions and convictions can’t end well. not sustainable for eternity. fuck my life.

one last thing. since you’ve been gone, the eagles have won 2 super bowls.

until next time…

good night my sweet. i love you.

me